5 ways to let in the win (even more)

The other day I paused, in the middle of a TRULY magical motorcycle ride through some of the prettiest mountains I’ve ever seen, on our way to a secret glen of naturally occuring hot springs, having just left Play Church and with a juicy recording session ahead of me, yet I found myself struggling to be present. I was missing my bucket list moment.  What was going on?I think back to my sis, on her wedding day, so stressed out from the prep, that she just couldn’t relax and enjoy what lots of folks think of as the best day of their lives.

If life is simply a string of happy moments, why do we miss the opportunity to really let it in?  If now is our point of attraction, and what we’re vibrating at is discontent and scattered energy, what does that mean for our future?

Here’s my go to guide for letting the win IN.

1. If you have to force “it”, it ain’t your it (not yet anyway)

Thoreau cautions: ” beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.”  I think he was talking about leaving our elemental selves, no, I’m lying. He was literally talking about clothes and how you shouldn’t give your valet your old shoes because only people who went to legislative balls need shoes, but the quote has always stuck with me as a metaphor for not doing something that feels off, not leaving yourself behind out of obligation or a confused allegiance to something or someone other than your most darling self.And we often feel like the road to success and getting what we want requires us to leave our joy and connectedness and muscle in and take your lumps and push hard, but “You’re not ever going to have a happy ending to an unhappy journey.”

If we get all whiggy trying to make it happen, we’re going to only allow in a result that feels a little whiggy to us.  I find that if I take 10 minutes to tune up my frequency that it makes an exponential difference in the quality of the experiences that come my way.  So, one of the best ways to let something in is not lose your alignment on the way to it. Take yes steps each way, so when you arrive at your win, you’re actually there to receive it.


me, lettin’ it IN!!!!

2. Life is like a fine wine, you need to let it breathe

Spoiler: the next bit is kind of sexy.  My ex-husband and I went to couples therapy and learned how to use breath to reconnect to our sexy bits and to bring flow there.  Reconnecting, individually, via breath, helped us to be more available for the flow between us and the sex got crazy great.  So now, whenever I find myself checking out during sex, I just direct some breath downward into the hot spots and I reconnect myself with my body, with the experience, with the now.  The breath brings my attention and with it goes life energy.  This works pretty well out of the bedroom too :)I live and travel with a breathworker and she’s helped me to notice that when I get stressed out or start to check out, I actually slow my breathing or breathe shallowly, sometimes I just stop breathing if I’m really freaked out and she thumps once or twice like a baby who needs some encouragement to take that first amazing breath. But I am literally stopping the flow of life to whatever is going on by breathing less.  The less I breathe, the less there is of me to enjoy anything.

Sometimes, as a win is manifesting into our reality, we can get anxious and weird.  So that at the exact time we should be relaxed and receiving, our nerves are jangling and we’re either literally and metaphorially holding our breath, and we’re not a match for the full manifestation, so we’ll only experience part of it.  Sometimes I’ll see a friend letting in something they’ve wanted their whole lives and I’ll ask, “are you PSYCHED???” And they shrug, “eh” and usually list something that could be better.  I realize that I AM A MATCH to see the full potential that they were wanting to manifesting because I’m relaxed and playful, but THEY ARE NOT so it DOESN’T MANIFEST FULLY INTO THEIR REALITY.

3. say no. Oh my god, just say it.

When I started the Travel by Yes mission I had a teeny weeny understanding of what yes really means, what the power of a yes is and how, holy hell, to live a life in the key of yes. That’s partially why I embarked on this mission, to ask, with my whole life, how do I live inside my yes?  One of the answers has been to get very very good at saying no.My yesses have become mighty oaks in what used to be a cluttered forest, but I wasn’t always that way, About a month into the trip, I stopped really feeling like I was in my yes, or really enjoying the things I was doing.  I felt overwhelmed, split and chronically starved for time.  After a deep check in with myself during a big epiphany-generating adventure, I realized that I wasn’t really checking in with HOW YES something is. I was just saying yes to all of it, and my plate was too full. My big trees weren’t getting the vital nutrients they need because all the undergrowth was sucking them up.  And nothing was getting very much momentum.

Saying no still remains something of a challenge. There is a part of me that wants everyone to approve me at every moment and this part of me never says no.  Put that’s not my highest self. My highest self is needless of other’s approval.  She is clear and clearly focused on the fun of feeding and dancing fully with her highest yesses and what others think of her is not relevant or even all that interesting. She knows that what is buzzing as a yes for each person is deeply individual because it is an indicator of you being on path, and we each walk and play on our own paths.  So, she doesn’t want or need others to understand her choices and her path because she’s so deeply enjoying her path.  

4. make peace with whatever the heck you’ve chosen to do as much as you possibly can

I’m sitting here at my laptop in the midst of a very poppin’ festival, writing, on a laptop.  Like a derk.  And before I wrote that sentence up there, I was struggling a little with the voices in my head, all wearing little weeny should hats: “you SHOULD go do festival things” “you SHOULD never miss an opportunity” “you are missing out” “You’re a bad/internet-head person and you’re escaping” but the flat-out truth, when I get beyond the haze of should-ville, is that the festival had inspired me to a place that I’d been trying to get to all day until I was so happy and clear that the only thing I really wanted to do was to write the blog post.  And now I’m having a good ol’ time, snuggled up in the RV/Play Nexus office between the permaculture labyrinth and the chicken coop, jamming out to Daft Punk and writing my durn heart out. Bliss.  But I had to give myself permission to be all here. I had to choose it, or else I was only partially here and the rest of me was worrying about what all my cool festivaling friends would think of me, or what I might be missing.  Fuck missing things!  I choose now. Now is all I have and I choose to be here as fully as I am able and make peace with the shoulds.

For example:

  • I sure will MISS EVERYTHING if I keep being indecisive.
  • I trust my urges!  When I follow a warm buzz it always blooms miraculously!  
  • I am where I am supposed to be and the more I line up with that the more true it will be.
  • Playing in writing is one of my deepest flow-state inducing ways to play, as real and fun and viable as the naked woman on a trapeze 20 feet away.  It may not be as sexy, but it’s as on my path as that kind of play is on hers.  
  • The more I value and make room for my play the more room it makes for others to value and make room for it.
  • Now that I’m calm and beyond the shoulds, it actually make sense that I would leave the shin dig in order to go deep.  It’s the trajectory of most play experiences, unless you interrupt it with lots of booze and drugs.  Also, those people are going deep together in the music making and performing and it’s perfect for me to use the inspiration and elevation and all the energy and channel it into my funnest, brightest projects.  
  • People have confused ideas about how long people should stay or about ideas of anti-socialness that serve no one.  I love being in my business and following my highest yesses.


5.  Choose your snowballs wisely

I heart momentum!  I mean, I heart POSITIVE momentum!  Somedays, like today, where I received news that someone has fraudulently stolen my son’s identity and I get to see that a bad feeling I had about things a while ago, has BLOSSOMED into a bit of a manifested nightmare and I can clearly trace the build up of momentum that I didn’t find a way to shift.  But that kind of moment I don’t heart.   Even though it teaches me more about momentum than my positive momentums do!

I like realizing that my “wins” are simply the logical result of an uninterrupted positive momentum.  Like pushing a car down a hill.  But how do you keep from interrupting a positive momentum? 
My favorite way to feed a positive momentum is to love the shit out of what’s going right and to just leave the rest off my plate. I don’t pick it up in my mind, in my words or in my deeds, I just let those unsavory momentums fade away from lack of attention.  This takes me deeper into my win. What do I love about this? What’s magical about this?  This helps you to let it in more and to have more fun with it.

Try it now, take a look at all the threads going on in your life as if they were tiny snowballs that are going to head down hill and get bigger.  Which of these snowballs do you want to roll majestically down the hill and get huge? And which do you want to just melt in the sun and not follow you into your tomorrow?

Choose one of the ones you want to get big (for example, you may have just got a promotion or some positive recognition at work) and now lets feed that momentum with some glad heartedness.  What’s great about the promotion or recognition?  I feel valued.  I love that I get to explore a whole bangarang opportunity. I get to learn cool new shit!  I get a sexy secretary like James Bond … and so on.

Do you notice what you’re NOT doing as you’re focusing EXCLUSIVELY on the good bits?  You’re not scared, overwhelmed or worried which is where lots of people go when positive momentum starts to really bloom.  Having some discipline around your snowballs will let life get really good for you AND it will help you to enjoy the getting good bits even more.

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