woman-biking (1)
woman-biking (1)

This is NOT me, sadly, I wish it was. My body-imposed cavegirl diet is costing me MY LUSCIOUS BUTT

Tonight I biked hard for the first time this year. And by hard, I mean, racing vehicles hard. I was giddy with the new buds of late winter pushing up already in the deep South. I was giddy to be on my pony again and super giddy from this week of deep play in the online playshop Money Boogie.

Considering the depths of my joy, it’s surprising to think that it took me a full three minutes to realize that I might be dying.

And then another SOLID minute or two to make the decision to get off my bike. That seems like a fair bit of lag time for such a critical feeling situation.

I laid there in the sun, kind of sort of bleeding from the chest. I’d recently gotten some kind of lung funk and hadn’t realized the extent of it until I PLAYED THIS HARD.

You know where this is going.

This is a metaphor.

Okay, so, when you are sitting down on the couch, you may never know you have a tender spot in your foot, or whatever. It is in the wondrous activation of deep play that we encounter, and play with and love into and EVENTUALLY play through those wobbly bits.

But there is no rush to get through. Life is delicious. The stillness is delicious. All of the all of it, is so very very delicious.

I discovered the joy of pain as I laid there in the new sun, hurting so effing bad and so effing alive. And I realized that my lungs want some love. And so I breathed the thousand healing smiles inside of the sun down into my lungs and Nidra-ed my insides back into calm and realzied that I had found my pace again.

For a moment, I’d eagerly pony-jumped ahead of the pace of my delight AND THAT’S FUN TOO, because damn it life IS EXCITING and if you aren’t eagerly leaping ahead, you aren’t in range of the thrills that are your birth right, but for a sustained playful existence, I prefer staying close to the pace of my delight.

Mmm, roll that around a moment: The pace of my delight.

What other freaking pace is there?

Okay, here’s the helpful bits:

You can tell you’re leaving it when you start to feel more anxious than excited. You can tune back the pace a bit by doing a calming breathing or taking a quick five minute stroll or boogie to your favorite song.

You can tell you’re finding the pace because the excitement feels just right, the joy feels Just Right, YOU FEEL JUST RIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE.

photo 1 (2)

The pace of your delight is the pace of allowing.

Really, when you get down to it, it’s the only pace in town.

Happy delighting! Happy perfect now, however it finds you, it’s perfect, and the moment you decide it is, you find the pace again …  ahhh …
Love, Yee Old Bloody Lung Kinsey

7328526_orig
I was once so NOT into Christmas that I just stopped doing it. Then I booked myself (JUST me) into luxurious hotels far far away and let my family celebrate without me. Seriously, I did that. But, oh how I missed the magic, togetherness and tenderness of this season. Also, elves, and cookies! And Santa’s rosy cheeks and …Instead of abandoning my family to go write poetry by the shore, I decided to learn how to stay ME, playful and real through it all, so that every drop of this life has me signed onto my joy-boat, no matter what.

#1   If life is a pie…

(and I very much like to think that it is, probably warm cherry with homemade whipped cream) then, the heightened togetherness of the holidays introduce rarely played roles into our pie. Most of your daily pie is just you being you, and then here come the holidays and suddenly you’re someone’s daughter, or an aunt, or an ex, or you’re obligatory Santa, or an only friend or a mama.  Sometimes the surprise of encountering the full range of all the beautiful human games we play, can shock us out of remembering the primary-ness of our primary role: to vibrate clearly, happily, and extra yessily.Your only role in life is a vibrational one.

And no matter how rich you are, ain’t none of us can afford the luxury of forgetting to tend our primary role, because Law of Attraction just don’t quit.  There are no vacations from consciousness.  You are always drawing in what you’re vibrating at. If you let yourself get stressed out and start doing obligatory rather than hell yes things, and lose your self care rituals, you’re going to draw in dramatic and stressful life circumstances which is why so many people arrive, gasping and depleted on the shores of New Years Day, desperate to return to their true role, Being Happy.  They scrabble using diets and new structures to hold them in place so they can clean up their frequency, relax, and feel good again. 

But I say, why ever leave the sweetly connected spot? Why not hold Your own hand all the way through?  And in a season devoted to frolicking why the heck would we be anything but wildly playful?

#2  Which is why 

you’re going into this holiday season with your conscious guns a blazin’!  Think of this as the Big Game prep time.  Instead of (or in addition to) getting ready for Christmas by shopping and cooking or avoiding shopping and cooking, you’re going to tend your vibrational playing field so that you will encounter the best of each you meet, and be delighted and sated by all you engage in.  You’re going to have the best, most deliberate and love-drenched holiday of your whole, bloom festival life.  Ready?  

#3  First! Joy O’ Clock is your sacred

little nugget of time that you stake out as a the biggest gift in the world for your aligned self. Here, you do JUST ONE THING: tend and grow your joy. JOY O’ Clock becomes a home for all your consciousness tools and a safe space to begin to use them regularly.  Make a home for love to return to and love will flood your shores. Your joyful rituals will be a life raft through the holidays.  They help you stay wide awake.But what does it mean to tend your joy, I mean, really?  I know that I’ve had to kind of dig to recover my original know how about the Joyful Life.  Here’s some of my current thots that are workin’ for me:

#4  WE are the architects

of our own life experience and when we take the time to imagine things the way we want them and to clear up everything that’s stand in the way of that coming in, we live the life of our dreams.  
Grid it! ( WHATEVER it is, you can dream it better: dinners with in laws, Christmas Shopping, Christmas Morning … )Here’s how:  Get some markers and blank paper. Put on some cheery music and close your eyes, let everything go for a moment, then begin to fill the page with emotional words that feel like you want to feel on and during the holidays.  Get arty. Draw shapes that match the feelings. Go deep. The longer you meander around those good feeling words, the stronger the point of attraction you’re creating.

p.s. As you grid, you’ll find a pure tone that feels AMAZING, but then … you’ll encounter the stuck beliefs  that don’t match those dreams. Those are what Abraham-Hicks calls your bugaboos. 


They’re not true and they are the reason you’re not living your dreams now.  

Picture

Grid for our Travel by Yes mission!

#5  And so you clear

the energetic stuckies.  Like giving away old clothes. And most of your old stuff is around other people.  We let old, so boring resentments and discontents cloud our beautiful, loving hearts for long enough!  Why not let this holiday season inspire you to find ways to return to love in these areas?  If you do nothing else, do a gratitude list for each of the people you’ll be celebrating with. It changes everything. And you can do it in your head while driving. You can do it with your kids. You can do it in the shower.

If you’re feeling like you want to go deeper,  I recommend using Byron Katie’s “The Work” and â€œHo’oponopono” or our version â€œHo’oponoyesso” and the focus wheel just can’t be beat for thrilling yourself with new love and clarity.  I’m also a fantastic coach.  Just sayin’.  

#6  Then you play

and slip into full presence, listening to a story from a long forgotten elder, or maybe making cards or googly eyes with a newly discovered baby niece.  You’re unbusy in the head, relaxed, not wanting to be anywhere else, and filled with huge gratitude for this precious now.      We get so durn STARVED for fully presence during this busy time of quick and often superficial engagements.Buoy the season by making deliberate playdates

with those who are buzzing for you. For me, these playdates have quickly become one of my bestist pleasures and keep me wildly happy.  Here’s a quick how to for making playdates:

  • plan to do something that rings for you and feels even a tad meaningful. Be easy, and loose, the plans will likely evolve as you play together.
  • Don’t invite everyone and don’t be scared to say no to others. A good no makes a good yes even greater.
  • Don’t cancel or get so busy you can’t really be present.   Intend to show up with all that you are.
  • Cell phones off!  Gift yourself with the fullest presence. 
  • Do a gratitude list with the person before you play together. Remember their bright lights.  Savor their beauty. It’ll help draw the best out of them.
  • Do a grid for the interaction. How do you want to feel?  Take five minutes and grid it into existence.


Now that’s you’ve laid the vibrational ground work, and feel ready, it’s time to …

#7  Pack that Beautiful Adventure Bag!

“If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family”  Ram Dass

I carry a literal adventure bag everywhere I go.  Yes, I am currently on a mission to slow travel the world via yes, so the adventure bag is pretty much a necessity.  Headphones have literally saved my life more times than I count. So have the sidewalk chalk and bubbles I carry.  But more important than that is my energetic Adventure Bag, chalk full of the consciousness tools that allow me to stay happy, in balance and playful with my reality.One of the favorite things In MY energetic adventure bag, this holiday season, are the kooky rituals that keep me rocking, keep me playing in the yes, like…

#8  Peeing With the Trees 

I ONLY pee outside when I’m at my parent’s house. 

WAIT, don’t run! There is some very useful and only SLIGHTLY peepee-involving spiritual stuff here.

  
I’m not (very) feral or a pee advocate (wait, WHAT?) But I am a wide awake for the breezes at dawn, playful little spirit budlet, who sometimes gets kooky pants during the holidays, where there’s so much unintentional hooby hah.  And in order to maintain my connection with ME in the midst of all the hooby ha a la, I have developed playful rituals that keep me awake, conscious and consciously happy.The practice of peeing outside is an odd one I accidentally began many years ago, when all my sisters and their kids were visiting and I couldn’t wait for the bathroom to clear.  Beyond pee-full, I was also fussy, overfed, bored and impatient, so I huffed my way outside.  Once out there, the

stars started their magic on me, and by the time I’d finished and breathed the cool night air, and thanked the earth, I was unfussy, and had some clarity.  The tree pee interrupted my unconsciousness.  

#9  Boogie in bathrooms

just a 3 minute private jig with my headphones in will shake loose any fog and get you right back into your business. I also like to have a couple of aces up my sleeve, like fresh new high consciousness games that get everyone synched up and playing in their connectedness, or just being prepared to play your favorite game.  Idle hands really are the devils tools and if you don’t have deliberate structures offered, people tend to just default to more food more booze more wooze more lose.  

#10  Call your alignment bud

when you feel yourself losing momentum.  If you don’t have one, look around, they are the conscious, grounded, balance and nearly always happy person who loves the hoo hoo out of you and will say glorious things to you when you call or text, like “go climb a tree, NOW and don’t whine. It’s never attractive.”

# Yes.  OR, you can just take a shortcut to ABSOLUTE glee

by simply following the yesses.  Seriously, as Bashar says, if you are always following the path of your highest excitement, you’re always EXACTLY on path.  You can keep it simple this holiday by being a little fearless with your no’s and even more fearless with your yesses. What do you want to say yes to?  For the love of all that is, well, love, SAY THAT YES, and keep following the path of true yesses as they light up for you.  And let the Universal manager handle the rest of it.Happy holidays playful darlings,
all my love,
Natalie

8853099_orig
Quick announcement! I shall henceforth be calling my blog a blerg, for two super important reasons. 


One, It’s funny, and Two, 
it makes me laugh.(and the word blog never has and likely never ever will for the foreseeable, never going to be funny future)

Picture

Did you miss this old meme? It’s taken over my family’s joke life. I mean jerk lerf.

Beneath this silly decision is an acknowledgement that sometimes the house in which a thing lives can keep visitors out.  When I think of a blog, all this serious crud fills mah brain.

 When I think of doing a blerg, I laugh, and a berber herperpertermerse floats through my brain like a champagne bubble.  

Also, it’s Liz Lemon’s favorite word. 
‘Nuff said.

Therefore, 
welcome to my blerg. 
 

Not only is changing how you talk about a thing one Tony Robbins favorite tools to stay light and conscious, but it’s also a poet’s favorite tool.  The right metaphor can liberate a silent things into an expression that creates a bridge into a brand new reality.  Check out this portion of Jack Gilbert’s poem “The Forgotten Dialect of the Heart”  How does your feeling about “love” change as you flow through?

Love, we say,
God, we say, Rome and Michiko, we write, and the words
get it wrong.

When the thousands
of mysterious Sumerian tablets were translated,
they seemed to be business records. But what if they
are poems or psalms?

My love is a hundred
pitchers of honey. Shiploads of thuya are what
my body wants to say to your body. Giraffes are this
desire in the dark.

What in your life wants to be 100 pitchers of honey but is stuck behind some outdated word? Can we play it open? Can we honey-chop, flambé, and triple lux the word houses that we choose to invite others into our experience?  Pick a word, an idea that wants reinvention … post in comments below, then let’s play the next reality open!

4271585_orig
What does habit have to do with being a wild, creative player, who is in love with wind, wanderlust and wanton abandon to the ecstasy of beingness?Everything, it turns out.  When my life gets so chaotic that I’m too fussy to play (I’m on a slow travel mission thru the world to explore my biggest yes) I realized I need to lay it down.  In the past, I’ve started and stopped at least 438 attempts to find something that really works for me: Hour of Power, Gratitude First, Swallow the Frog, bla bla bla.  All great, but not great enough to keep doing. Then I realized, oh, hey, how about I play with what works for ME and MY LIFE? Not Tony Robbins or Louise Hay, but Natalie Sweetcheeks Kinsey. 

So for the last year or so, I’ve been playing around with what kind of morning shindig helps me to set the right tone for a bombastically joy-drenched day.   Even when I get it wrong, it’s changed things so powerfully that I’m addicted! Every day some new amazing manifestation or higher than ever joy moment.  Clients, Love, Work, Vehicles, Bliss, Bucket List, Travel dream life etc!  Joy o’Clock creates a home for my playful consciousness to live and lets me truly play the way I want to.    Here’s how to git your own.

#1

 4:44  Pick the earliest sexy number you can handle.  Set your alarm.  Tell the parts of you that are scared that it’s going to be okay.  

It really is.

#2

Gently expect that your life will gently fill in around this new practice.  Starting each day with such a strong, positive, happy momentum will help you access the higher bits of consciousness more consistently.  Synchronicities, manifestions and general yesaliciousness will soon be flowing in. You showing up for yourself and setting aside this time to really delight in pure beingness is a huge act of self love. It’s like a gadzillion lovers sending you chocolate and flowers that you really life for 33 silver lifetimes.

#3

Don’t fight

what begins to shift as you prioritize your own joy.  You may find yourself snoozing through your former midnight snack time. That’s okay. If it’s truly on your juiciest path, it’ll find a home in your Centered Around Joy O’ Clock life.

#4

Soothe Sleepycranky-pants Afternoon You in the first couple of weeks of developing this habit by reading them the following list in your best super soothing British NPR voice:

Highly successful people discover the habits that let them play how they want to in this world.  And they support you while you grow and hold your head when you think you can’t go on.   Also, nap, baby, nap.As you’re shifting into new, more empowering momentums, don’t give up!  Your dreams live at the frequency of steady joyful beingness. The only way to get to them is to become steady joyful beingness. If you want to do that, you’ve got to take charge of where you’re steering your ship.

#5

Fill your Joy O’ clock with …Joy bubbles!  Duh.  Joy O’clock is your time to fill up on joy and tune your vibe to the frequency of Source.  It’s where you make sure that the momentum’s you’ve got going on and the ones you want going on.  Here’s how my mornings go:

    1. 4:44 for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee. Or me.  It definitely tolls for me.  The trick to getting up that early is to JUST GET UP.  And definitely do it before your brain rolls the ol’ “oh but it’s so… (jump up before the next word or ALL IS LOST) cozy”  Don’t even think about how cozy the bed is.  Yes.  It is, but it’s time for not cozy.  It’s time for growthy.  Yessy. Uppy. Get Uppy.

 

  • 4:50   Gratitude up. With sparkle markers and glitter crayons, I contribute to my Glad Heart Book, a simple, long running list of what I love, what is going right. I especially focus on the people with whom I interact with everyday. It keeps me focused upon and activating the best of them.
  • 5   Meditation. Then I scan my vibe and write down whatever feels “off” or makes me feel bad when I pass my brain over it.  I make a list.
  • 5:15  Boogie walk!/ run/ jump/ hop kinda thing.  It involves the outside, and wind, and early stars, and me! and dance music and lots of moving usually to this song. (p.s. I am also fake practicing my fake parkour.) It’s so fun.  

 

  • Some days I feel like dancing is the best short cut to god.  But then I get lost singing with someone and I think, THIS is the short cut.  But then I get lost meandering up a river, rock hopping and following the eagle and I think, THIS…  
  • Then I remember, it’s the full presence.  Not the action. It’s how willing I am to go into and be transformed by the play.
  • 5:30   Home again! Time to clean my emotional laundry list for the day, using whatever conscious play tools seem funnest, lightest, most downstream.  I do a lot of Focus Wheels, Grids and I EFT my bunz off.  I can tell I’m using the right tool if I feel relief.  Then the rest of the day I’m not carrying worry, chronic discontent or frustration and I find myself feeling clearer and happier than ever before. 
  • 5:45   grid the day on how I want to feel & calendar check and plan day around prioritizing hell yesses.

#6

Pinky Swearto do it for 7 days straight and enlist a wake up buddy to text and pester each other to get out of bed. It helps!  I had a bud help me through the first 7 says by yanking the covers off and making me angry enough to chase her outside, at which point, well, hell, I was up.  At the end of the week, so much good stuff had flowed into my life that had previously been stuck and I was just happier than I’d ever been BY FAR.  Why stop?  So I didn’t.  And I’m wooing all my clients and homedarlin’s to the kiss-the-stars-before-dawn side!  

Who’s up for the challenge to find your Joy o’clock and give yourself a week of experimenting with what you really need to do to show up for the Awesomeness that is your beautiful life.  

What are your joy bubbles? Meditation? Laughing? Boogying alone in your front yard under the stars?  Are you willing to give yourself this early Christmas gift?  C’mon…let’s kiss the stars together.

Love,
Natalie

Sometimes people make these flattering, but wildly untrue assumptions about me, stuff like:   I never get unhappy, sick, or lost, or that I am beyond the need to be conscious about what I do, or that play comes naturally to me.  

So, first, no and no.  Being playful in a world that is driven to perform doesn’t come naturally to me, at all.  I’m really not sure it ever will.  There’s something deeply satisfying in the whole I’m Doing This On Purpose and It’s Totally Saving Me thing that I’m not sure I want to let go of.  

But, if I let myself go unconscious, I will gravitate to the lowest common denominator, Netflix marathons, wallowing in thoughts that kick the stool out from under me, cycling through chocolate quests, and so on.   You fill in your own blanks.  It’s the stuff you do when you can’t get clear enough to do the stuff you really want to do.

But recently I’ve been noticing A VERY LOVELY THING going on with those unconscious cycles, they’re not able to go on for too long because they keep getting interrupted by all the Regularly Scheduled Play in my life.  

And I didn’t and don’t schedule in the play for that reason. I do it because it’s my job, or because playdates with people help  keep our relationships buoyant and trued, but an added benefit is that with these steady interruptions, it’s getting harder and harder for me to spend any real time in the weirdo unchosen limbo lands.

For example, the other day I’d had A DAY, with everything and everyone tumbling out of place, and me feeling disoriented and unfocused which are two of my least favorite ways to be.  Lucky for me, I had a playshop to do that night and so I simply had to leave it behind.  I spent the next three hours consciously elevating: started turning my focus on stuff that I love. I did lists of appreciation. I went to the water. I let myself collect leaves and stare at them as much as I wanted – I went up.

And by the time the playshop came, I was ready to hop on the boat of it.  And that night, my heart got saved, yet again, by the breadth and depth of my drop into the play, and also how this particular play focused me into Love, into feeling love, and being playful in it and this was exactly what I was needing, the playshop gave me the antidote to the poison of feeling lost, off, out, unloved.  So, yeah, regular play totally saved my heart.

This keeps happening.

I’m beginning (just beginning) to realize the cumulative affects of regular wholehearted play, on a person, on a body, on a heart.

My stamina is growing.  I’m not getting the early cramps of a new-again to play adult player, those hiccups where you freak out at a perceived inadequacy or impending intimacy and have to get fake sick/tired and run away.  I’m able to go long steady jags in a state of easy happiness.  And even when I hit something that freaks me out, I’m learning to play in the freak out.

My flexibility is increasing.  I can see playful points of entry in so many more moments, and I’m able to stretch to enter them if I want to.  Before I could only play with a specific person, or in a specific manner and now I’m able to see ways for me to meaningfully play in a huge variety of situation.  For the most part, I feel loose and warmed up to play.  The logical consequence of this is that I stay playful most of the time, which means, I stay fun, funny, warm, responsive, willing, curious, loose, fun-centered, and efficient in that way that fun is.  Which means, I like myself and feel more like myself more often.  This is a fucking delight in no small measure.

And, and this is really yummy right now, my Me is increasing.  I’m biggering into the bigger play, without even realizing it, I’m accumulating so many new skills, new dreams, new news as I follow a true yes into its logical blossom.  I’m expanding without the arduousness of goals and getting it done, I’m just being honest inside the trajectory of meaningful play and this is a fantastically expansive process.

So, beautiful players, where are you regularly being (oh, so gorgeously) interrupted by play?  Where is their room to move towards being even more interrupted?  Make a weekly playdate with a friend whom you always feel great after playing with but never seem to make time for, or find a local playshop.  Or make a play date with yourself once a week, to just head out on a mini-adventure to follow your true yesses.  

Would love to hear your experiences and thoughts,

much love,
Natalie

6566697


Want to let Play 

bloom
your Lover Playground
wide open?

Picture

Playing in love is one of the most delicious & tricky kinds of play. But here are 10 simple tips to make is easy.



There are nine million ways to play in love. Here are the first ten that occurred to me.  I’d love to hear yours.

1.  Don’t hoof it, Hell Yes it

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”― Oscar Wilde

Obligation slows down … pretty much anything worth having or doing.  If you are thinking of something as obligatory, you haven’t yet found a playful angle, or the gifts of it, and you’re going through it at half speed, which means, only half of you is really there, which, is not that fun for people who are partnering with you, or who are trying to.  Learning how to find hell yesses, and how to turn up our willingness to a situation so that it can become a hell yes is a nifty trick.  Have you ever noticed that the most attractive and popular people are the ones who are totally into what they’re doing?  It’s because they’re operating out of their yes, and all of life is collaborating in the key of yes. That’s SEXY.

2.  Stop being a Nancy Drew of the Shadows

“With each statement of need and justification, you unwittingly reinforce the vibration of your current unpleasant situation, and in doing so, you continue to hold yourself out of vibrational alignment with your new desire and out of the receiving mode of what you are asking for… As long as you are more aware of what you do not want regarding a situation, what you do want cannot come to you.”   – Abraham Hicks

Problems compel our attention.  A problem, by it’s very nature is compelling.  But in a Universe where like is drawn to like, giving lots of energy to our problems, only brings more of them our way.  Especially since all the time we’re sleuthing it up, and tracking down every past life where you felt sad about avocados, you’re not dreaming things forward, appreciating or dancing with your lover honeykins on the rooftops of your life.  Start being a sleuth of the lit up spots.  Let yourself get fascinated by the stuff going right.  Locate there.

3.  Play. Together. a LOT.

“Play from your fucking heart!” – Bill Hicks

I know this may seem redundant in an article about how to play together as lovers, but it’s so freaking important to all the whirling zones of your life, the parts  that you share and the parts you don’t that it needs an all by itself mention.  How important?  So much!  Read this beautiful thing about how playing more makes everything better, but especially lover play.  When we play, truly play, we have to be our pared down elemental selves. And sharing time in that space helps us from getting kooky about who we think the other person is. We KNOW who they are, we just played with them an hour go. They’re splendid, light, funny, available, adventurous…  They’re the person we keep playing inside of love with, and therefore the person we can’t help but stay IN love with.

4. Mind ur own business!

” (Mind your own business)
‘Cause if you mind your business, then you won’t be mindin’ mine.”   – Hank Williams Jr.

Even IF it were possible to mind your lover’s business for them, it’s super boring (puppet make bad mates) and also, all the time we’re spending (trying) to mind their business, our own business is going untended, unloved, weeds o’er taking the garden, pick your metaphor, either way, no good, also, you’re interrupting your lover hearing their own clear beautiful inspired urges.  And people who act from clear inspiration are the sexiest, most alive and delicious people in the world.  Mind your own business, become that own person, and have fun trusting your lover to do the same.  Trust is fun to play around in.

5.  In trouble moments, fuzz ur eyeballs

 “When you’re not entrapped by another person’s appearance or behavior, you can see behind all that to a deeper level of their being because your mind has tuned itself; you shifted your focus just that little bit to see their soul. That soul quality is love.”   –  Ram Dass

Often problem situations stay problem longer than is fun because we’re caught up in trying to take the logic train on a situation.  Or we take the person at their word, even though, more often than not, when we’re distraught, our understanding of ourselves is not uptodate and the things we’re saying are wobbly. It’s easier to just deal with the energy beneath the situation.  When things fall apart, deal with energy beneath the situation: mind your vibrational tone, rather than trying to take the logic train on the situation,  do your energy work, and shift the situation from the inside out rather than getting into the surface drama. 

6.  Get good n’ bored, together

“The imagination needs moodling,–long, inefficient happy idling, dawdling and puttering. ”  – Brenda Ueland

Let yourselves be bored together, just the two of you, bored.  Nothing to do.    Seriously.  The best games of childhood erupted when you were laying in the grass bored out of your nutz.   In that languid, idle space, there is room for genius and inspiration to bloom.  Not to mention how much the whush up out of the boredom is intoxicating.  And in the stillness of the “boredom” you’ll be able to taste the fullness of being alive, together, and this is a very fun kind of thing to bond over, and to know about each other.  It let’s you really get on a thing, together.  Let’s you journey together.  Let’s you play, without an agenda in sight, together.

7.  Be slutty about your play elevators

“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” ― Eckhart Tolle

When you’re in a low space, together, the tendency is to try and fix the thing you’ve been focusing you on that’s bringing you low, but, from that vantage, you’ve got no access to the solutions, and while playing seems impossible in those moments, it’s also one of the few things you can do to distract yourselves from your pristine focus on the shit, and break the cycle.  It also restores your energy, and your vantage. When you’re really deep in play, you’ve got no split vibes going and all of Life is whushing through you.  You feel like you again. You can see.

8.  Tend your own Secret Gardens

“I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible; to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance, to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom, and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.” ― Dawna Markova

If we are sated and well pleased in our selves, we bring this to the relationship.  We find delight and pleasure in this world by playing.  When we tend our own secret gardens, by following the wild urges, by saying yes to the dictates of our greedy hearts, we stay in balance with ourselves, and we bring this innate balance to our dance with our lover.  When we play by ourselves, we know ourselves in a working kind of way, a way you can take to the bank and so we can stay tuned to our particular needs, easily, even as we play very fully and deeply with another.

9.  Feed the good wolves, together

“An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he told the young boy, “a terrible fight between two wolves.  One is evil, full of anger, sorrow, regret, greed, self-pity and false pride.  The other is good, full of joy, peace, love, humility, kindness and faith.”

“This same fight is going on inside of you, grandson…and inside of every other person on this earth.”

The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asks, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?”

The old man smiled and simply said,

“the one you feed.”

Sometimes lover play coincides with living together and running a life, a family, a business, whatever, so we talk about all those things.  And sometimes we forget that what we give our attention to, we get more of. And in that forgetting, we talk about stuff that’s bothering us, and the things we don’t like about others and while there’s nothing wrong with these ways of talking, you are feeding the wolves you don’t want to win.  You can install a layer of grace and delight into your relationship by deciding to savor together often and with honesty, by asking each other what you love about this or that, by being willing to buck the current of being cool and griping about the state of the nation, and be the lovely one who is feeding the wolves full of kindness and faith.

10.  Play in dreams together

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”  ― Albert Einstein

What is fun for us, is fun because it locates us on our path.  And our path carries us to our dreams.  If you’re not having fun, you’re off the path to your dreams. If you’re not having fun together, you’re not on your dream path together.  (Yeah, I totally took the logic train on that one)  One way to get back on path is to play IN your dreams.  Loverman and I like to play Dream Pong, which is a game where we easily and naturally share the parts of our dreams that are freshest and most exciting. In this way, I don’t just know the daily him, but the always becoming him too.   And keeping my sights on the bigness of him, lets me love him in a huge, delicious, and yeah, kind of dreamy way.

It’s best to admit now that I have not ever really understood the concept of ego, 
or tried to. 

And I’m not now.

But here goes this blog anyhow.  Recently, something in me has been feeling like a castle door being rammed by a tree trunk, held by 40 swarthy men, intent on Getting In, NoMatterWHAT.   And they’re singing primal, tear this shit down kind of songs while they do it.

And the bigger I play, the more the whole “take this castle by storm” feeling grows, and shows up, acutely, in my parenting.  My 3 yr old was gone from me longer than usual, and while I genuinely did not miss him those three days, and was very very VERY ohmygod so very happily playing and blooming and inloving and dancing like a banshee on moonshotLSD, there was a part of me that still struggled in his absence.

My identity as a mother was being rammed.  

If I am not the central Thing One in his life, if parenting is not the center of my life, if there are Big parts of my life that have nothing to do with parenting … what does THAT MEAN?  Oh, how my pretty lil’ mind reeled while the 40 swarthy men kept on and on, day and night, until I knew I had to find a way to either voluntarily open those damn doors or find some boiling oil or tar and feathers or somethin…

Recently, I’d been talking with LoverMan-kins about how play takes us up to the edges of our known self, right to that “Here Be Dragons” sign and then invites us further, because play is attractive.  When you’re on a mission to find a higher rope swing, there’s a fair bit of momentum carrying you: you’re intrinsically motivated.  The whush of it will carry you past your little stuck clutches, or those  places where people’s rigidity around their concepts of self kept them from really going deep and Sweet in the play.

Stuff like, “I’m not social” or “I’m not a water person” or “My daughter is my number one priority” or “I’m shy” or “I have no rhythm” are all these understandings of what we think of as our essential, core selves, and yet play will blast you past these.  Will shake the shit out of every single one of these trees.  

Does play shake everything and leave the trees bare?  Nothing left?  What’s left of me when I am not being a mother?  When my son is happy with his crazy river riding daddy, both of them sounding their wild Yawps from the rooftops of the world?  When he is, in this moment, not my priority, what is left on my tree?  What was left Sunday night after workshop and that extraordinary plunge into some of the deepest, most loving and expansive play of my life?  

What is left is so simple it and diaphanous and shot through with light that I cringe to laden it with words.   

Nothing, was left.  And everything.  Like the way white is so much all the other colors at once that it is none.

I’d gone to a state of being so full of the creative life energy, that I couldn’t even remember all those little perches that I sometimes roost on, mother, business owner, teacher, shmeecher, reacher.  Honey pot, magic bean buyer, lover.  I was none of those things, and all of them, but mostly, I was. Just. Brimming.  I was overflowing.  

And in the overflow, my castle doors were wide the fuck open.  

The structure of the playshop let me feel safe to let go all those rigid notions of myself and just exist, unfettered, un-anything except wide awake and whee.  

So, this morning, I’m checking the hinges on those doors.  

What would a hingeless life feel like?  What if I had more fun with my identity and discovering the inherent fluidity of beingness?  What if I started to samba a little when I feel the doors start to bulge?   Less ramming and more jamming?  



Celebrations:   I used to duck the fuck down, when the play went deep, and go to distraction. 

“I have to… check the tea, go pee, go to work, go to seed…” Whatever, anything to resist the deepening, and to protect my doors from flying open.  

And now, having learned my ninja play skillz, I have a vast and nearly superhero awareness of the whole process of deep play, and ability to open my doors in a wide variety of play moments.   I can, and AllTheTimeDo, drop into that wide open sky bliss place via: dance, music making and singing, deep conversation, gymnastics and trampolining, travel, writing, poetrying, design, energy work, teaching, coaching, walking, getting losting … 

I want more of:  Hingeless living.  That is all.  

7470803_orig

We’ve just soft-launched the new website. Softly, because, softly feels good for right now.  Softly, I am moving onto the new 100 acres on a river land, and launching the next phase of our play community. Soft and real and listening I go.  Soft, and close to the pulse.  Soft and friendly I stay with my dance in everything.  Soft, loving, connected.  I decided to ditch the old one, entirely.   It lived in a land where I was still in the closet about how effing magical the playful life is.  I wanted to create a new canvas that could accommodate the big, whiz banging leaps that come when you’re playing in being a deliberate creator, when you are addressing the energy beneath a situation instead of reacting to the situation.

I hid that element because I was still in other people’s business.  I was worried that Mom would find it offensive that I believe that I am brimming with the Creative Life force that she calls God, and that where I direct my life energy, is what I create more of.

I didn’t want to link myself with all the people who were talking about Law of Attraction and Being on Purpose in ways that felt cluttered and unfun.    I was worried about being misunderstood  …

IMG_6304

But I’ve realized that my worry about being misunderstood is an integral part of my own process of finding full resonance with something.  It’s a part of the journey to having full permission to be where I am and love what I love and dance how I fucking please.So, the next time I’m worried about being misunderstood I’m going to celebrate that as a very tangible reference point on the journey to big, usable clarity, and the more clear I am, the better my magic is.

I’ve noticed a kind of kind of secretive tendency around success, where we want to cover up our tracks.  To protect our secrets, but that feels really unfun and untrue.  Success, for a clear-hearted player is always going to have an element of what we call ‘energy work’ and will likely involve a magic tool.  Because we live in an ever expanding Universe we must go with the Goingness in order to stay healthy, frolicking and properly Whee-ed.

Before I came out of the magical closet, I was only dealing with the tip of the iceberg.  Now, there is this enormous freedom in my work with players, where I can truly help them discover the magical keys to their own kingdom.  To be whole hearted and totally honest in my play, what a gift to myself.

I’ve noticed that sometimes a player gets stuck where their identity can’t accomodate their forward growth. This was true for me.  I was nervous about perpetuating that myths that play is not meaningful or pivotal to a happy healthy life.  I was protecting my creds.  And now, I’m protecting my delight in going with the Goingness, and using my focus to appreciate and lean into the places where people are playing, deliciously, in the magic.

Celebrations:

Playing lightly and loosely in community has turned over in ways that are 5,000% magical, with 100 acres of riverfront property just landing in our laps, and a whole festival arriving to build our buildings for us, and a fancy boat showing up and there’s buried pirate treasure and an island!  Every morsel of it is more magic and fun than if I had tried to strong arm and make happen, rather than dance lightly and dream forward.

I want More Of:

I want more joining, more comrades, more playmates, more shared delights!  I want more stories of magical connections, Jedi movements, and magic carpet rides through this time space reality.

I want to live in a world where magic is rampant. Where things turn over in ways that feel miraculous, where we’re dancing in the filaments of beingness and the fullness of our dance there releases the hounds of creative power and the dance changes everything. And you wake in a world brand new.

I want more feeling comraded in Being on Purpose.  I want more stories of Jedi lusciousness.  For myself and for others.  I want more of a conversation and acknowledgement around the magical thread inside the brimmingness that is play.

Invitation:

I love being played with and love full conversations.  Magical darlings, where is magic alive for you?  Comment your magic hearts out below…

IMG_7251

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.     ~  Tom Robbins

IMG_7251

 
The Backstory:  Late night, trying to get my creative jiggly on. We’ve  been frittering around in story prompts for a while, and not finding a point of entry into the juice when Miss Tuscaloosa suggests that we write a manifesto.
Immediately, I feel a rush of equal parts fear and excitement.  Can one write a manifesto for play?  Can I?
At first glance, manifestos seems so unsilly, so serious. But then I start to get curious about the bright whooshing spark I felt at the idea, I remembered Elizabeth Gilbert’s advice to young creatives to simply flow their curiosity instead of trying to create something.
Hours later, I had down flowed that curiosity. Flowed it so hard, and, SO FUNLY.  That unexpected flow carried me far from where I stood when I felt a little intimidated of Writing a Manifesto. I’m not sure what to say with or about the finished product.  I don’t totally understand parts of it.  But I think I understand the curiosity that drove its creation and I trust it.
Can you smell the invitation embedded up in here?
You sure can. But will you? Will you journey into the truer honey of a thing?  Will you share the manifesto that’s snuggled in your heart with the world? And with me too?  Or, not even the manifesto, how about the thing that is sparking, that would even want that kind of playing with.
If you want a more tangible advice on how to, check this article.
I can’t wait!!!!
Love,
Cap’n Natt

Manifesto for Conscious Play

Introduction:

We are undoing what is done unproper

making room at the table for what is fluid, what is grace, is new. We are forging new portals for Delight, shaving milliseconds off the time it takes to acknowledge that inconvenience or interruption is not actually possible, and in that remembering, we are sailing forth onto the proper timbers of adventure, again and again.  We’ve been studying the sacred art of bally hoo for a white rainbow of lifetimes and now we are …

Sending burning arrows

The dark night seas are lit with our Viking funerals for the false and fear-based comfort plantations that whittle aliveness to a precarious ember, leaving the soul to pound on the body window, desperate to live.  We’re planting real possibilities in their stead, where one whole-hearted silly can cure, completely, the divide between soul and the orange groves at dawn.  We’re laughing, like it’s our job, truth or daring,  kisses and parlays, opting for truth only to loose the heavy and stupid secrets into the uncaring ear-baskets of a stranger who will wisely let them shatter to the grocery floor, and we are …

Amping up our taste for freedom

because going crazy on it feels oasis excessive after desert nothingness and not only can we handle too much choice, too much wahoo wonderment, too much saturation of pleasure, we require those exact conditions, like a plant refuses to fuck around without the Sun. We are not fucking around without the sun either, we are …

Leaving windows open

in everything, every boat, every poem, every road trip, and especially, in every saving-grace interruption (that fantastic silly fuck-up that illumes the infinite truth about how shiver-fish delicious it is to be this alive.)  And we are …

Issuing product recalls for the sleeping shoppers

If you bought the bippy that says you have to stop playing in order to be a proper adult, send it back.  And stop buying bippies.  We are …

Reminding

You are really a field of bougainvillea gone brainwild in the year of rain. You are cotton candy running round n round the stick. You are the return on eons of I-think-I-can investments.  And you are see through with yes. And we are see through with yes, we are …

Playing

For, to truly play, is to storm yourself exactly new.

             A sad                heart              
will  have full  &   proper vantage 
         restored in a single silver-heeled dip            
              into true and woo hooing                   
                 play,  which  just                      
                     happens  to be                          
                         the  best – ist                            
                          Way to be                             
a true 

you


1. Burn down the idea that play equals childish. The two notions are bound together in a common cultural attitude that applauds children frolicking yet chastises adults engaged in play as lazy or miscreant. Let joy’s fire burn you free.

2. If children and animals use play as a way of practicing and becoming ready for the next stage of their personal evolution, because playing helps them stay loose, honed, open, pliant, responsive, curious, and in flow, while locating them energetically snuggled up next to the heart of Infinite Possibility, then in what universe does it make a lick of sense for anyone to give up the best tool in their arsenal for keeping them up to speed with their own expansion?

3. Play does not require spontaneity; it breeds it.

4. The more authentically and fully you engage with the endeavor before you, the more whoosh, presence, willingness and invisible resources you’ll have available on the canvas of your own now (this is called playing hard, or fully.)  This allows your state of being to continually upshift into more and more usable, energized and clear states. Happy people are more successful in every area of life.  Learning how to play with how you do life lets you begin to leverage the power of your own joy.  That’s when the real fun begins.

5. Play is inherently elevating. You don’t need to feel playful or joyful to begin because the act of playing will raise you up, like a lock system in a canal, because playing drops you into Flow. Here’s how: the endeavors we choose to play in compel our attention, naturally, towards things that make us feel good when we focus upon them, (ooo, color! wow, math secrets! yay, I crushed that jump! Ahhh, my body dancing in perfect harmony with this beautiful music, so satisfy! etc). You can help the rising action by letting giving over to your fascination and getting rid of interruptions, or, really, anything that distracts you from the fascination.

6. Play singularizes your focus, calling you to be more and more present with the now (like meditation) so you feel less split and this also helps your boat to rise.  The game, the artistic engagement, the deep drop into composition, accepting the playful invitation, regardless the form, all have within them the bridge you need to return to your natural state of buoyancy.  Trust the rising nature of play.

7. Dr. Who’s phone booth is very different on the inside. People immersed, happy, and armpit-deep in a play-space, are in a different state of being, with an entirely different perspective and point of attraction than what you might observe from the outside.  Don’t waste time judging other people’s ways of playing.  Reinvest that judgey energy into a high yield inquiry into where your joy lives and what YOUR next adventure smells like (you do you, bruh).

8. Unwend softly. Remembering how to play can feel like standing in line waiting to be chosen in gym class. At first, you may be paralyzed between the twin fears of worrying what to do if someone passes you the ball, and worrying what to do if no one ever does. Don’t worry dumpling, cuz, like every other person, you were born a perfect player.  Let your journey back to recovering your playful heart be a private and perfectly messy endeavor, just like, well, life.  Primordial ooze, earthquakes and rainbows and all.

9. Structure facilitates abandonment. While a structured game may seem, from your current position of grumpy malaise, to be lame and unattractive, the structure of the play-space will support you in your journey from Grump to Good by compelling your attention away from those thoughts that were making you grumpy and luring your attention onto things that genuinely rock the casbah, especially your casbah.  

10. Most people haven’t even begun to play their own life because they’re still tangled up in what other people are doing, or not doing, or might be secretly doing.  Bleh.  Don’t waste waste your precious creative life energy in other people’s business. You have no idea what situations or growth curves they’re coming out of, or where they’re tenderly journeying towards. Every milli-ounce of brainjuice you use trying to figure out their business is brainjuice that you’re not using to play open your own beautiful business. All that wasted brainjuice could be used to quietly listen for what new music or adventure is hailing you, or to tune into the baby sprout urges of creative inspiration, it’s brainjuice you could be using to find and tend your own damn fine and perfectly perfect for you Yes.

11. Play restores proper vantage. Paradoxically, it is in the moment of great muddle when play has the most opportunity to be a springboard into a refreshed and profound liberation, even though, in those moments, being playful will feel distant and difficult. The more open you are to life playing through you, the more likely it is that you’ll soon discover how play is the fastest way out of a stuck state of being and up to a usable vantage.

12. #12 is currently lost in the Tardis. Though we expect Time to fold in on itself again quite soon, at which point, we’ll take a screenshot of whatever #12 is/was/ever could be, and let ya know.

13. Deep play throws us into the eternal present tense. There is no past or future when you are deeply absorbed in play. There isn’t a lot of complicatedness or weirdness here. Just you, the real you. Just Beingness. Hang out here, we dare ya.

13. Play fills you up, buttercup. Filling up your joy coffers with a nice, deep dip into a solid play-space will leave you with a tremendous and comprehensive readiness that travels well and can’t be easily shaken.

14. Let play infiltrate your whole life. Play a poem instead of writing it. Play dishes (bubbles!) Play sex (bubbles!)  Simply shifting your verb shifts your brain into a can’t-get-it-wrong mindset.